Welcome to my world…
Ant’s In My Pants
This particular morning, I woke up in a daze and confused as to where I was, until I looked over at my hand and it ALL came back to me.
I hopped out of bed and ran to my suit case to piece together an outfit for my Lego Land date with Diokles at 3pm. Afterwards, I looked over at my trash can and it’s full of ants. I hate ants! [There are just too many of them, they move fast, they don’t die and they crawl up your arm if you try to smash them.] I threw my trash can on the lanai and ran to the front desk to report the news. In fit of laughter, they informed that they would send someone to my room right away to clean it up.
Shortly, I heard a knock on the door. “Excuse me Miss Victoria, do you have any laundry that needs to be done?” I said “Y’all do laundry?” She said “Yes we do, just put your clothes this in bag and fill out this form”. Excited, I did what she asked and then I heard another knock on the door; this time it’s house keeping. So for the next few hours I sat by the pool side and chatted with my friends from the states until it was time to see Diokles.
After making sure every eyelash was in place and I was looking and smelling good; Diokles texts me promptly at 3, stating he was outside waiting for me in the lobby (I like a man who is on time!). I walked towards him with a glimmer in my eyes and imaginary wind blowing through my braids and smiled at him.
“Hi Vicky. Wow! You look very beautiful today.”
“Haha, why thank you look very nice yourself.
We walked over to his car and he proceeded to call his friends, Unfortunately, all of his friends were busy so it was just me and him this evening. He asked if I had lunch, and I said “no”. “Would you like to try some local foods?” I said “Sure! Last day in Malaysia lets do it big!”
He took me to a cute restaurant called Tea House and ordered everything he thought I would like. To call attention to the wait staff, there were was a call button on every table. For some reason, I was so impressed by this. [Do you know how many restaurants I have walked out of because of lack of service and attention? Genius!]
While we were waiting for our food our conversation went something like this:
Diokles- “So why did you come to Malaysia?”
“Well, I have a good friend that lives here but unfortunately she is busy. But when I arrive in Singapore tomorrow, I’ll have plenty of friends there, so I will be ok.”
With a shocked look on his face ” Why would you travel to a place like this, alone, when you don’t speak any of the languages? Are you ok? Are you safe? Are you worried?”
Me – “Hahaha No, I am not worried at all. People in the States do stuff alone all the time. I didn’t think it was that big of deal.”
Diokles -With a concerned look on his face. “Here in Asia, it’s not good to be alone. If you are alone, that means that something is wrong with you, like a lonely emo kid or that you are too crazy to be around other people.”
Me – “Ugh. That is a lot of pressure. You know what, I was at the mall yesterday and everybody was staring at me. I assumed it was because I am black but according to you, these people might think something is actually wrong with me. Haha.”
Diokles – “No no no, they are probably staring at you because you are black and because your hair is different. So what do you do?”
Me – “I am a Digital Media Manager for a firm. So basically, my career revolves around Facebook.”
“You look like you would work in career like that…”
After more pleasantries were exchanged, our food finally came and it was great
After we finished eating, we arrived at Lego Land. Diokles wanted a picture of us standing outside of the entrance. Before we asked some stranger to take a picture of us, he told me that I must teach him how westerners pose in pictures because he did not want to hold up the peace sign while standing next to me. I had to think long and hard about it. From my cultural perspective, when black males pose in a picture they do one of two things: 1) they either stand up straight with their hands together over their crotch without smiling or 2) they have their hands in the air with a big smile.
Since I pegged Diokles as smiler, we were going to go with option number 2. We found someone to take our picture. He looked at me and said “Vicky, how do I pose?” I said. “Stand there and hold your hands out like this.” He said “What?” I said “Just do it!”. He did it… again, and again and again.
“Why do Western men pose like that?” Diokles said. Trying to sound smart, but pulling information from my ass I said “Well, it’s a triumphant pose. Americans strongly believe we are the best, so when we take pictures we have to make ourselves look larger than life.” He accepted my information and smiled.
Fast forward, we enjoyed ourselves THOROUGHLY at the park. We rode all the rides, saw a 4D lego movie and shared lots of laughs. All in all, it was truly an amazing experience
I Gotta Make This Song Cry
After leaving LegoLand, he dropped me off at my house so that I could change my clothes for dinner and karaoke. He took me to another cute restaurant where we had a 5 course meal and partook in lovely conversation as well.
After dinner was over, Diokles attitude changed for the worse. He was no longer the fun loving guy I knew him to be. Without sharing too much of his information , basically his ex-girlfriend recently broke up with him but she wants to continue communicating with him knowing that he still has strong feelings for her.
I’m pissed off at this point because this was my last day in Malaysia and now I have to spend time trying to mend a broken heart. But you know what, I am firm believer that God puts certain people in your path for a reason. Let me explain:
As he is telling me his story, his ex continued to text him, making him angrier. I was like “Oh hell naw! Give me the phone and I’ll handle it.” He said “No, Vicky you will make it worse.” I said, in Washington DC (where Obama lives) accent “SON! She clearly doesn’t give a shit about you, she is selfish as fuck. You mean to tell me that standing up for yourself, being all passive aggressive and shit is working out for you?” He said “I know, but you don’t understand.” I said “Naaaa buddy, if you truly believe in God (which he does) than you have to believe that He is going to bless you with the perfect women who would never do you wrong under any circumstances.” Then this conversation lead to deeper conversation about faith, life, how to go about loving yourself and much more.
Still melancholy, we entered our own private room at the Karaoke spot. In his sad Malaysian accent, he said “Vicky, just sing to me . I don’t feel like singing”. Little does he know, I am a mic hog and I love singing solos anyway (Lucky guy). I said no problem. So I am singing to him and he is still sad and laying down holding the pillow in the karaoke room.
Enough is enough. I said “I have the perfect song for you. I am going to bring AMERICA [more specially HIP HoP] to Malaysia! I know you don’t the words but just read the chorus anyway. You don’t even have to grab the mic.” He said “Ok” and I stood up. The song plays and Diokles reads:
“This right here is my SWAG. All the girls are on me, damn. Everybody pay attention. This right here is my pretty boy swag. Pretty boy swag, Pretty boy swag, Pretty boy swag, Pretty boy swag.”
I did all the rapping parts and he sang the chorus. We were TURNT UP in the Karaoke room. After the song was over. I explained to him why I chose that song. I told him “You look like pretty boi and any girl would be lucky to have you, so anytime you are feeling sad just remind yourself that you have the pretty boi swag and keep it moving.”
“I have one more song that will change your life. In fact, this song is so powerful I think you need to make that your alarm clock” I said. I put on Soulja Boy’s “Turn my Swag On“. After we finished Turning Up in the room again, I told him that EVERY morning you need to turn your SWAG on and take a look in the mirror and say whats up. Why? Cause your getting money! Ayyy!”
We had a good hard laugh off of that song, but in all seriousness Soulja Boy was speaking the truth in that song.
Anyway, it’s about 1am and he has to get home to go to work the next day and I have to pack for Singapore. In car, we resume our conversation and I am bestowing my best relationship advice and reassured him that everything is going to be ok. He dropped me off at my hotel and said “Vicky I had a great time, I wish you nothing but peace and blessings and a safe rest of your trip”. I hug him one last time and walk out his car and cried my eyes out all the way to my room door (I was on my period, so I could have been hyper sensitive at this moment)
I cried for him because A) I hate saying goodbye and B) because he is such a wonderful person and this girl, by a click of a text message, turned him into something so sad and miserable and he does not deserve that. So to Diokles’s ex-girlfriend, you are soooooooooo lucky he prevented me from speaking to your ass directly. Since he did not allow me to stand up for him, I pray to God that he has the strength to stand up for him self.
I’m Singapore Bound now…DEUCES!